These Cocktails Are Almost Too Scandalous to Say Out Loud

Yes, we’ve all heard of the ubiquitous naughty cocktails like “Sex on the Beach” and “Slippery Nipple”, but they’ve become so commonplace that we don’t even bat an eyelash when someone blurts out “Starf**ker!” But these craft cocktails in Austin are so saucy and scandalous, they’re sure to make even the most brazen blush.

“Pillow Talk” at Backbeat

This south Austin speakeasy has a laid back mid-century atmosphere and awesome rooftop bar where you can take in 365 degree views of Austin. Backbeat boasts a veritable bevy of beers, wines and fancy bar snacks like oysters on the half shell and pate melt. Their creative, albeit offbeat, drink menu features kooky craft cocktails like “Late Bloomer” and “Seedier Elements”. But the seediest drink of all has to be their “Pillow Talk” cocktail with Irish Whiskey, Galliano, ginger, lemon, egg white and apple bitters. Order this drink out loud and you can feel the sexual tension build.

“Prince Edward’s Ass” at Swift’s Attic

Located in the heart of one of Austin’s weirdest districts, Swift’s Attic keeps true to the eccentric vibe of south Austin with its creative “attic space” atmosphere and equally creative food and drink menu.  Their unique happy hour menu ranges from Blistered Shishitos to Braised Pork Cheek Bao, and their drink menu includes everything from bombers to iceballs. But of all the funky flavors on the menu, i.e. The Big Lebowski, it has to be agreed that the “Prince Edward’s Ass” cocktail with Crown Royale and Maine Root Ginger Brew, is the ‘cheekiest’ (pun intended) of them all.

“Straight up D**k” at Nightcap

The trendy and popular Nightcap on sixth street is known for their bomb dessert menu, boozy milkshakes and bold beverages. In addition to an elegant rotating wine list, Nightcap also offers gourmet ‘bites’ like strawberries and cream and decadent ‘sweets’ like dark chocolate cremeux. Look a little further and you’ll find an irreverent drink list with names like Hanky Panky and Tequila Mockingbird (get it?) If you’re looking for a blush-worthy drink, try ordering the “Straight up “D**k” out loud. Go ahead, I dare ya’.

“Italian Stallion” at Craftsman

Auspiciously located in bustling east Austin, the quaint Craftsman Bar has been serving up delicious craft drinks and Austin flare since 2014. With local craft beers, killer happy hours and fun bar events like Sunday Funday: Yoga + Mimosas and Bloody Good Beer Fest, it’s easy to see why this small house-turned-bar is quickly becoming one of the most popular haunts on the east side. Their naughty drink list features fun names like “Pants on the Ground” and “Dead Man Walking”, but the “Italian Stallion” cocktail, with Nardini Mandorola Grappa, lemon, sugar and Prosecco, is positively rife with sexual innuendo.

“The Jezebel” at Jackalope

Located in Austin’s notorious “Dirty Sixth” district, The Jackalope is a popular Austin dive known for their bodacious burgers, award-winning food and throwback decor complete with velvet paintings, a padded bar and checkered floors. This hipster bar boasts 42 bottles and 14 drafts as well as daily happy hours from 2pM-7PM and weekly specials like Service Industry Night with $3 local drafts and $3 whiskey and Mix Tape Mondays where you can bring your own vinyl and play DJ! Their huge drink menu includes specialty shots and bombs, beer and signature cocktails like the Kentucky Corpse Reviver and Fuego Bandito. And while The Jezebel may not be the most controversial name on this list, it certainly qualifies as old-school scandalous.

“Preacher’s Daughter” at Javelina

Comfortably situated in an old house on famous Rainey Street, Javelina is a laid back bar that oozes Austin vibes and Texas spirit. Their southern-style menu, loosely labeled Hill Country Soul, is full of sinfully good fusion soul food like fried chicken tacos and Javelina eggs, craft beers and plenty of patio-friendly cocktails like the Irish Green Tea with peach schnapps and Jameson and down home Porch Swing with Deep Eddy sweet tea vodka. Among this seemingly innocent list is the salaciously sordid “Preacher’s Daughter”, with Elijah Craig 12, Domaine de Canton ginger and luxardo cherry.

 

 

 

 

 

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